Irony: 9:30, Sunday morning. New York Times Readers: RU Believing This Shit?

Miss Edith slept late this morning, but she is so moved by an article in the front section of today's New York Times that she's sat down here to share a little outrage.

Today's Times has an article about literacy online ("Literacy Debate: Online, RU Really Reading?") versus what I think of as, you know, actual fucking literacy. The article interviews a young woman named Nadia Konyk, who lives in Berea, Ohio, and who I'm sure is a lovely young woman. She is, however, seriously missing some points when it comes to think about her reading habits and her future.

Ms. Konyk feels that her habit of reading fanfiction online (a category of writing that Miss Edith admits she has generally little respect for, even though friends of hers engage in it; she also has friends who go to Ren Faires, an activity she has pretty much nothing but scorn for, because she is a snobby bitch) counts as real reading. She isn't particularly interested in reading real, printed, bound, typeset books, for reasons that seem weak to me. "You could add your own character and twist it the way you want it to be," she explains about reading fanfiction online. "So like in the book somebody could die, but you could make it so that the person doesn't die or make it so like somebody else dies who you don't like."

How true. And if we all rewrote The Great Gatsby so that Gatsby wound up with, say, a budding Hollywood actress named Norma Jean, the world would be a better place. Right.

"Nadia also writes her own stories," the article says, and tells us that she's posted one called "Dieing Isn't Always Bad."

This was where Miss Edith began to choke slightly on her iced coffee.

Even as I typed that title into Blogger, here, the word "dieing" got one of those squiggles of red underneath it indicating that something isn't spelled correctly. We all know -- don't we? -- that often those squiggles are really wrong, and that the computer program just doesn't recognize a perfectly real word (such as a proper noun or a term from a foreign language) but I'm distressed that Ms. Konyk didn't have the ability to correct her story so that the title read "Dying Isn't Always Bad." I would lose some respect for Ms. Konyk on this point alone, but the next paragraph in the article left Miss Edith's head spinning (bracketed text is mine):

"Nadia said she wanted to major in English at college [!!!!!] and someday hopes to be published [join the club, sweetie; even real published writers, even people who know how to spell, keep hoping that they'll be published]. She does not see a problem with reading few books. "No one's ever said you should read more books to get into college." "

That last sentence is enough to make Miss Edith want to hang herself. Ms. Konyk is young and doubtless has no idea of just how stupid her statement makes her sound, and I will try to cut her some slack, but.... heavens to mercy, people. College is supposed to be just precisely about reading books, and, yes, my darling, the more books you read -- good books in particular, by which I do not necessarily mean Faulkner or Melville, because "good" covers a wide, wide range of material -- the more likely it is that you will get into college. And by "college" I mean a respectable liberal arts institution where the professors encourage reading real books so as to encourage the students to engage in lucid critical thinking.

Ms. Konyk may end up going to Harvard or Yale, for all I know -- she's fifteen years old and anything is possible for her, after all -- but if she does go to a good liberal arts college where she majors in English, I suspect she will be shocked by how many of her peers there already know that "dying" is spelled with a "y" and that books are not to be pooh-poohed just because the author of the text has already determined for the reader who dies, who marries, and what happens in the end.

I would say that this was an appalling article, but it wasn't. What was appalling was the attitude of many of the article's subjects. Please read this piece and then try very hard to not bash your head against the nearest brick wall.

TBS: The Language Police Are Paying Attention To You

Miss Edith knows perfectly well that this is a losing, stupid battle she's about to fight, but this is really pissing her off:

TBS is running -- constantly running -- these ads for itself that boast something like "More TV, Less Commercials." To be honest, I'm not sure I got that right; my brain is perhaps a little fried in this heat wave. But I know for sure that the second part of it is "less commercials."

Here's the thing, folks: you, my loyal readers, surely will agree with me that those jackasses at TBS oughta change it to the correct "fewer commercials."

FEWER commercials, damnit. Is it too much to ask? (I mean, syntactically speaking, here; I don't expect them to actually reduce the number of commercials they air. That'd be unthinkable and even Miss Edith knows it...)

I don't see the point in sounding stupid unless it's artfully done. TBS, which is presumably a company with scads of copywriters and editors and all kinds of people like that who have writing experience, college degrees, and maybe even things like MFAs (god help me), really ought to fucking know better.

Thank you.